Coincidence or is something else going on?

Since the painful years of 2018 and 2019 where we lost family member after family member, every "anniversary" or birthday has been painful.  By anniversary, it could be the annual wedding anniversary or the anniversary of the day we lost a precious loved one.   

Yes, the pain is less severe and at times it shows up as just a tear or two, but it is still a hole in our hearts and a reminder of the emptiness we feel inside.  The pictures and videos, especially those that appear throughout the year on Facebook or on those special days sometimes hurt but other times just warms our hearts and reminds us of the special person who is no longer here.

Since then though, a surreal pattern has occurred that has all of us feeling like something bigger is going on, a higher power is getting involved and that it is more than just pure coincidence.

Our first loss on, March 21st 2018, was that of Miguel, Luisa's brother.  He fought an incredible fight with cancer with grace, dignity and faith that left us in awe and something to aspire to, if we ever find ourselves being led down our own painful and challenging paths. 

Exactly two years to the day of his passing, we welcomed the arrival of Miguel's grandson, Beckam.  A bundle of joy that the entire family believes Miguel had a hand in, to send him down from heaven to let us know that March 21st was a day to look forward to, not regret.

I have written before that I shared birthdays with my mom and the pain I felt when she passed away in early 2019.  For the next two birthdays, I struggled to feel complete and lacked the desire to celebrate my birthday.  It felt just like another reminder of what I lost.  Every year I looked forward to enjoying a Carvel ice cream cake with my mom and to experience the uncontrollable laughs as I gave her a hard time because of her single flavor choice - Vanilla.

After two lonely birthdays, Mom sent me a new birthday buddy, Kaden. This year, Kaden will be turning 1 and the plans are already being made for he and I to celebrate our mutual birthday with Ice Cream.  I even purchased a new Ice Cream maker so that he can enjoy homemade Ice Cream for this special day.  Yes, it will be Vanilla but I may add something special in it as well, just because.

The third "coincidence" occurred just this past week.  My father-in-law passed away two months before my mom on March 11, 2019.  Miguel Humberto, Luisa's father declined in health significantly over a period of several months but his health began to deteriorate from the stress of watching his son battle his cancer.   He was my 2nd father, and reflected the spirit and soul of the entire family.  

On March 11th, 2022, Luisa and I welcomed the birth of our first grandchild, Audriana.  Daughter to our son Dan and wife Jill, Dan had a special relationship with his grandfather "Papi Gray" as he called him.  Living life to the fullest and showing us all how to live for today, not tomorrow.

In our family, the loss of 3 of our most special anchors left us feeling empty and full of pain and despair on every anniversary since their passing.  These 3 special births, able to arrive on any of the 365 days of the year, arrived on exactly the day that we needed them most.  To change the day from a day of pain to a day of joy.  To give us a day to celebrate and laughter instead of tears.  To give us hope and to remind us of the beauty of life, and what matters most to us.

 

A Love Like You Have Never Experienced Before

Back in 1989, Luisa became pregnant with our first son, Dan.  We were ready to start our family.  It had been 4 years after we had exchanged our vows and we were anxious to begin writing the next chapter in our lives.  We had this great feeling inside that we would be great parents even if that sounds arrogant.  Of course, we had no real basis for this except that we saw the world and our role in it, the same way.  We felt we were very compatible with each other.  We shared the same views and priorities in our life.  

When Luisa was in her 4th month of pregnancy, I happened to be on a business trip in Puerto Rico.  I stayed a few days extra to visit my grandparents and relatives.  After several days there, pre-cellphone, even pre-house phones, Luisa was desperate to talk with me about a problem she was having with the pregnancy.  The doctors believed there was a problem with the baby and she was alone and I was not there to support her or be there with her or for her. 

I called home after a few days of her trying to get a hold of me and the gut punch to my stomach was immediate when I heard her voice and what was going on.  Not able to go to the house to call the airport/airline to change my flight, I ran back to my uncle's house, packed my bags and stopped by all my family's homes to say my quick goodbye and headed to the airport 2 hours away.  I prayed all of the way to the airport, asking for everything to be ok with our baby.  Anxious with tears running down my face, I actually don't remember the 2 hour trip down the mountains of Puerto Rico.  I got there as quick as I could and was able to get the next flight home.  

Fast forward 5 months, knowing that we were having a boy by then due to the scare we had, we could not wait to meet our precious Dan.  Still wondering if everything was going to be ok, we knew Luisa was going to have a C-Section due to Dan being breech, we woke up the day that he was scheduled to arrive and went to the hospital on the morning.  It had snowed outside the night before so at 5AM, we began our long, roughly 45 minute drive in our Ford Tempo to the hospital.  There was nobody on the road.  Dark due to the November day, but bright because of the white, snow covered road and the orange lights all along the highway.

I pulled up to the hospital main doors, got out, ran around the car and opened the door to make sure that Luisa did not fall out.  I grabbed the overnight back and walked her into the hospital. I ran out and parked the car in the nearby parking lot for temporary visitors.  Once back inside, I grabbed a wheelchair for Luisa and I pushed her to the area we were supposed to go, passed the doors to the other side where our lives would change.  Dan was born at roughly 8AM and all we could think about was how perfect he was and that the scare of what could be wrong with him was all for naught.  Just perfect.

A long 32 years have passed and the memories that we have created with both of our boys are just incredible.  The birthdays we have celebrated, the trips we have taken, the highs we have experienced and even the lows we have struggled through are precious memories that began that winter, snowy day.

Today, March 11th 2022, we re-lived that day through the eyes of our son Dan and daughter-in-law Jill as they took the same journey on the way to the birth of their daughter, our first grandchild, Audriana.  We got the text the night before from Dan and it started "Hey, so first off everything is ok... Jill is having contractions and the nurse recommended we come in."  

We did not sleep last night, wondering what they were going through, what they were thinking, as it brought us back to that trip down memory lane.  At 3:30 AM, I was texting Dan to see how things were going and then looked at my phone 15-30 minutes later.  Then again an hour later, and an hour later, and so on until 7AM when I finally got out of bed.  Luisa was up by 5AM and shared the message received by Dan at 5:38AM.  Audriana was coming and it would not be too long from now.

Our precious and beautiful granddaughter arrived at 9:26 to be exact.  Healthy, absolutely just perfect in every way, had made her grand entrance.  A true gift from God, about to start her life long journey with parents, grandparents, an aunt, an uncle and an extended family who have been waiting for her arrival to show her how much she is really loved. 

Looking retrospectively through the lens of what we have been through, we could not be more proud of Dan and Jill and how they have prepared for their lives to change but how ready they are to become the absolutely best parents to their new baby girl.  To experience the first touch, first kiss, first embrace and the many other firsts that will come as a result of graduating from being just a couple to a family.

Dan and Jill, you will never love anything or anyone as you will love your children.  That Love is nothing that you have experienced before and we could not be more proud to see the steps you will take with your precious daughter on this journey.  We thank you for giving mom and I our first grandchild and the first girl in our immediate family.

 

     To Audriana - Lelo and Lela Love you so much and can't wait to meet you and spoil you.