Rie y Llora - Que a cada cual le llega su hora

I'm sensitive to starting every post reliving the pain of what our entire family has gone through over the past couple of years.  However, in the past 3 months, our family has experienced a transformation of nothing but amazing moments that continue to bring us together and be giddy about celebrating life and our beautifully expanding family.  Yes we have those moments where the holidays remind us of what we have lost.

But those moments now pale in comparison to the excitement of having celebrated two amazing weddings within this short time frame.  In October 2019, it was Dan and Jill.  Luisa and I had a natural high leading up to the wedding and then for about a month afterwards.  Now it was Desiree' and Spencer's turn to tie the knot and give us hope for a better future.

The day was as beautiful as the bride. The location picturesque. The venue, prepared with an attention to detail that would not only excite us about what we would all experience but sweetly reminding us of those who would not be joining us physically but without a doubt, in spirit.

From the memory room, with Abuelo's handcrafted furniture to the two dominoes tables on the porch, just begging to hear Miguel yell "La Gorda" and proclaim "My House, My Rules".  Their presence was felt everywhere.  Several of us wore his suits, ties, shirts, and even the bridesmaid's flowers were wrapped with Miguel's ties.

As the guests began to stroll in and sip from the champagne glass, we were all admiring the location and the shear beauty of the place.  All of us, very consciously aware this day would be full of joy while trying to keep our emotions in check so we can focus on the bride and her husband to be.

As the ceremony began, our anticipation and excitement grew upon seeing Desiree' walk down the paved path in Denise's arms.  The friends and family, giving them both support and admiring the strength of those beautiful ladies, as the waves began to crash loudly against the rocks nearby.  Then as Reverend Jorge started to speak his words, the ocean calmed to the point you could hear a pin drop.  

The wedding vows romantic and full of emotions like the crowd sitting in the chairs, tears flowing with all of the love for this family.

The celebration capped the night with great speeches, incredible food, and non-stop dancing throughout the entire time.  

There was one moment, where it all came full circle.  A song, a tribute to Miguel, where everybody was asked to dance with the newlyweds and the family.  Everybody joined the dance floor which at first did not appear to be big enough, but obviously was.

The tribute song was "Rie y Llora" (Laugh and Cry) by Celia Cruz. On my drive back from FL, I listened to the song several times, wanting to dissect the words and appreciate its significance.

...

Lo que es bueno hoy

Quizás no lo sea mañana

He ahí el valor del momento

He ahí el presente perfecto

...

No es que recuerde, sino que no olvido

Eso es el perdón, recordar sin dolor

Agárrate fuerte y ya no te sueltes

Ríe, llora

Que a cada cual le llega su hora (le llega, le llega)

Ríe, llora

Vive tu vida y gózala toda (vive tu vida y gózala toda)

Here is the song with lyrics

Essentially, tomorrow is not guaranteed. Therefore live your life in the moment.  The perfect moment at this current time.  It's not that you have to remember the pains of the past, but that you cannot forget the good moments of today.  Laugh, Cry, as our time will come for all of us.  So live your life and enjoy everything.

This was exactly what Miguel wanted us to do and how he lived his life.  Enjoying the moment, thanking God for all of our blessings, namely our family.  

As the newlyweds make their way to their honeymoon, and to begin their future together, the pictures and comments from all of the people that witnessed this magical event are flowing on everybody's respective Facebook pages.  The smiles and comments say it all.  

Life is good.  Especially with a family and friends like we have.

Congratulations Desi and Spencer.  May God Bless your marriage and may you always live your life, in the moment.

The Tie That Binds

The tie that binds (or the ties that bind) is the shared belief or other factor that links people together.

There are certain events that forces a change in the routine.  The birth of a child, moving to a new place or the loss of a loved one, just to name a few.

Trying to get back on the saddle is hard. Very hard.  The feelings and desires of having things be just like they used to be.  The pattern of doing things you have done year after year and then suddenly... they come to a screeching halt.

For us, every year, it was the same routine. Celebrate Christmas in SC, and New Years in FL.

The New Years celebration routine would usually start two days after Christmas and would end on the 2nd of January. Roughly 14 hour trips each way to begin the nonstop, running around of preparation for the big event. 

Un-boxing the decorations from the garage, numerous runs to the supermarkets, (yes that is plural because no matter how many times we did this, we always forgot something and it is impossible to get everything in one place), ordering and then picking up the pig on the 30th, preparing it so that it can seasoned overnight and be ready for the big day on the 31st. 

Spend the day on the 30th cleaning the house and setting up all of the decorations to make sure that the place looked as magical as the views of the ball dropping on the TV of Sydney, then London, then New York.

Waking up early on the 31st to start the charcoal, clean the Caja China, set up the dominoes table so that we can drink beer or Cuba Libres (yes also plural) all while keeping an eye on the pig while we roast it.

Battling the winds and each other as we argued to make sure we, ok Miguel, would not burn the pig.  Of course, reminding each other, how we did it in years' past and that we should not fix what was obviously not broken and had been perfected over time.

Then while everyone was getting ready for the main dinner on New Years Eve, carving up the Lechón, and then scrambling to take showers so we don't smell or look like the pig we just roasted.

Celebrating family, our shared love for one another and the blessings upon us as we welcomed the new year, unsure of what it would bring, but sure that we would be here the following year doing exactly the same thing.

Looking at the pictures and videos of prior years only made us anxious to get the routine started.

On January 2018, Miguel, my truly one of a kind brother-in-law, shared a dream he previously had with Denise.  In his dream, he was attending funeral after funeral and said that all he saw were the losses that we as a family would have in 2018.  Not realizing of course, that he would be the first to leave us on March 21st a couple of months later, followed by my father, Rafa, just 10 days after that on April 2nd.  Then by Tia Margot (my side) and Tia Onelia (Luisa's side), along with both my father-in-law, Miguel Humberto on March 11th of 2019, 10 days shy of when his son Miguel had predeceased him and then most recently concluding with my mom Angela, on May 11th.

With the incredible losses of so many loved ones over these past 2 years, along with other circumstances, the usual New Year's Eve celebration changed drastically this year.  The tone was also completely different. 

This year, our boys and other loved ones could not make the trip. 

We did not roast a full pig, have a party or even dust off the dominoes.  We did have dinner together, with a pernil and then sat around the TV and watched old videos of our prior celebrations. 

We did our best to come together and continue moving forward.  We even put on music as we danced with the kids to honor the memories of the ones we love by keeping the traditions alive.



One of the songs played was Marc Anthony's Vivir Mi Vida which translated is Live My Life.

In the verse, he says:

We must continue.  We need to go on and live our life to the fullest.  We must continue to follow the traditions we set forth many years ago as can be seen in this photo.

Yes, it will be different and will never truly be the same as it used to be, no matter how much we wish for it to be. In the end, it was not about the music or the pig, or the new years hats and celebrations that we did this.

It was about our amazing family.  It was about being together to welcome the New Year.  To be there for one another as our life evolves with new beginnings, as well as the challenges that may come down our way.  To live our life or Vivir Mi Vida.

This year, 2020, we will celebrate another one of our children get married, we will welcome a new baby, we will travel to new places and create new memories.  But even though it is still far out, we can be sure of one thing.  We will get together at the end of the year, like we have always done to welcome the New Year.