There is a rumor that Dan picked me as the best man primarily because he did not want someone to screw up the toast at his wedding. Well, let’s hope I don’t do that.
He must have also thought he would get a chance to proofread it like he does my blogs at times.
Well no, he did not get to proofread what I am about to say.
Dan sent me into total shock Father’s Day last year when he asked me to be his best man.
I had just lost my dad just two months earlier and was already on shaky ground.
I actually did not know what to think. I now understand that it is more common than I realized and know of several of Dan’s friends that have done this.
Dan has always had some amazing friends. Friends that would do anything or go anywhere with him. These friends, the ones that stood there supporting him this afternoon for his wedding, would be willing to drive or fly into the path of a hurricane to celebrate a special weekend with Dan in the Keys.
Looking back though, I can understand why he would ask me to be his best man.
You would think it is because the of the relationship we have had from the beginning. One that is more than just a father/son relationship.
No. it’s because nobody knows him as much as I do and therefore nobody would be able to embarrass him like I am about to do.
Jill, even though you two have been together for several years, I am sure you have already figured out some of these things that I am about to tell you.
Things that as the years pass, as long as you keep these things in mind, you will learn how to “deal” with him.
Be warned that Dan can hold grudges.
I figured this out when I took my first business trip and was away for several days. I came home, so excited to see him that when I walked through the door, he absolutely refused to get near me or talk to me for several hours.
Well no, he did not get to proofread what I am about to say.
Dan sent me into total shock Father’s Day last year when he asked me to be his best man.
I had just lost my dad just two months earlier and was already on shaky ground.
I actually did not know what to think. I now understand that it is more common than I realized and know of several of Dan’s friends that have done this.
Dan has always had some amazing friends. Friends that would do anything or go anywhere with him. These friends, the ones that stood there supporting him this afternoon for his wedding, would be willing to drive or fly into the path of a hurricane to celebrate a special weekend with Dan in the Keys.
Looking back though, I can understand why he would ask me to be his best man.
You would think it is because the of the relationship we have had from the beginning. One that is more than just a father/son relationship.
No. it’s because nobody knows him as much as I do and therefore nobody would be able to embarrass him like I am about to do.
Jill, even though you two have been together for several years, I am sure you have already figured out some of these things that I am about to tell you.
Things that as the years pass, as long as you keep these things in mind, you will learn how to “deal” with him.
Be warned that Dan can hold grudges.
I figured this out when I took my first business trip and was away for several days. I came home, so excited to see him that when I walked through the door, he absolutely refused to get near me or talk to me for several hours.
That is when I learned that when I went away on trips, I had to make sure to bring him something. It didn’t matter if it was a list minute item I bought at a store in the airport or if it was one of the free swags you get at a trade show. You know the company branded Frisbee's and rubber stress balls.
So when he gets like that, buy him something. Doesn’t matter what it is, he quickly will forget that he is mad at you. He especially likes the Scansource tee shirts you get him.
Dan comes across like he is all reserved and obedient, but he has a little rebellious streak.
- He was a challenge from beginning. When he was about 2 years old, I used to come back from work, quickly change into my swim trunks and take him to the neighborhood pool. The problem was that I was not that confident in my ability to swim so I would go to the shallow end and tell him to jump in. He would run to the deep end and jump in. He did this more than once.
- Then there was the time that we actually lost him at the McDonalds at Disney world. One minute he was there with us and then he was not. It was crowded as heck and we freaked out thinking the worst. Luisa went one door and I went to the other and worked our way in until we found him in the middle of the crowd.
So when he gets like that, buy him something. Doesn’t matter what it is, he quickly will forget that he is mad at you. He especially likes the Scansource tee shirts you get him.
Dan comes across like he is all reserved and obedient, but he has a little rebellious streak.
- He was a challenge from beginning. When he was about 2 years old, I used to come back from work, quickly change into my swim trunks and take him to the neighborhood pool. The problem was that I was not that confident in my ability to swim so I would go to the shallow end and tell him to jump in. He would run to the deep end and jump in. He did this more than once.
- Then there was the time that we actually lost him at the McDonalds at Disney world. One minute he was there with us and then he was not. It was crowded as heck and we freaked out thinking the worst. Luisa went one door and I went to the other and worked our way in until we found him in the middle of the crowd.
- Finally, his great grandmother used to take him for walks around the waterfront until one day he tried to run away and she had to grab him by the hair. From that point on, she just kept him in the back yard playing with his dinosaurs and with a stick in the mud.
The only suggestion I can give is to give him tasks or something to play with. That will keep him in place and out of trouble.
Dan hates to be pressured to do things that are outside of his comfort zone.
- He especially hates to be forced to do things that he swears up and down he doesn’t want to do. He complained for several months before we went on a camping trip, how much he hated hiking. He did not want to be go. We went to New Mexico to hike for over 50 miles in a week and after that, he came back swearing about the trip. That it was the best trip he had been on with me.
- The trick is that he was eating about 3-5,000 calories a day. So when you want him to do something that he does not want to do. Just feed him. He’ll get over it.
Finally, if you haven’t figured this out, Dan likes his sleep and when it’s lights out, I mean it is lights out. He is dead to the world and nothing can really wake him up.
- One time, he was sick and in bed and we heard a large crash from his bedroom. Dan had rolled over the edge of his bed and crashed on the floor. He just kept on sleeping. We picked him up, took him to the bathroom, washed him down and put him back in bed. He did not remember a thing the next day.
- For this, the only thing I would suggest is that if he falls off the bed, just take a pillow and prop his head. You will not be able to wake him up and you can definitely not lift him up. He is dead weight when he is out.
I can go on and on about what it was like living with Dan but then we’ll still be here celebrating your first anniversary if we continue.
Besides, I want to now share some advice to Dan.
When I got married, my dad pulled aside the night before and said to me in a straight face:
“You know about, You know, right?” So Dan, you know about, you know, right?... 😊
Seriously, marriage life is a roller coaster with ups and downs, or a game that throws fastballs and curve-balls at you. The primary reason you get married is so that you can take that journey with someone who will be there for you equally, unconditionally and for you to reciprocate.
The key word in that statement is “equally”. Jill is your partner. She is the one that will support you like no other person can and will just as easily push your buttons.
That is OK. Just have patience and remember that this is not a sprint but a marathon. As I have always said, life is a journey, and not the destination. You want to take chances, do things together, experience things that take you outside of your comfort zone. So get on that roller coaster that you have always been afraid of. Your partner has your back.
Make Memories with each other. Things that make you laugh, despite the curve balls thrown at you at times.
Remember that the answer to the question, how do I look is, “you look great”. The answer to every meal she makes is, “it is delicious babe”. The answer to every argument whether you feel you are right or not, is “I’m sorry.”
To Jill.
Being the brother to 3 younger sisters and no brothers, Luisa and I thought that when we began having children, we would have girls. Up until we found out that Dan was a boy, we assumed it would be a girl and we would have no problem with that. We thank Dan for finally giving us the daughter we have been waiting for all along.
I heard you mention one time, after all of the unfortunate sadness we have had over these years that you “get it”. You get why our family is so close and appear to spend all of our time together, making a big deal of birthdays and anniversaries…etc. It is because when we are at our lowest point, we come together to support each other. Well Jill, it also that when we are at are highest point that we make it a big deal as well.
Luisa and I welcome you to the family and we are honored to have you as part of our family.
May God bless your marriage every day. May you both wake up every day excited about what the new day will bring and go to bed thankful for what you have been given.
Congratulations.
Now everybody please raise you glass.
A toast to Jill and Dan.
The only suggestion I can give is to give him tasks or something to play with. That will keep him in place and out of trouble.
Dan hates to be pressured to do things that are outside of his comfort zone.
- He especially hates to be forced to do things that he swears up and down he doesn’t want to do. He complained for several months before we went on a camping trip, how much he hated hiking. He did not want to be go. We went to New Mexico to hike for over 50 miles in a week and after that, he came back swearing about the trip. That it was the best trip he had been on with me.
- The trick is that he was eating about 3-5,000 calories a day. So when you want him to do something that he does not want to do. Just feed him. He’ll get over it.
Finally, if you haven’t figured this out, Dan likes his sleep and when it’s lights out, I mean it is lights out. He is dead to the world and nothing can really wake him up.
- One time, he was sick and in bed and we heard a large crash from his bedroom. Dan had rolled over the edge of his bed and crashed on the floor. He just kept on sleeping. We picked him up, took him to the bathroom, washed him down and put him back in bed. He did not remember a thing the next day.
- For this, the only thing I would suggest is that if he falls off the bed, just take a pillow and prop his head. You will not be able to wake him up and you can definitely not lift him up. He is dead weight when he is out.
I can go on and on about what it was like living with Dan but then we’ll still be here celebrating your first anniversary if we continue.
Besides, I want to now share some advice to Dan.
When I got married, my dad pulled aside the night before and said to me in a straight face:
“You know about, You know, right?” So Dan, you know about, you know, right?... 😊
Seriously, marriage life is a roller coaster with ups and downs, or a game that throws fastballs and curve-balls at you. The primary reason you get married is so that you can take that journey with someone who will be there for you equally, unconditionally and for you to reciprocate.
The key word in that statement is “equally”. Jill is your partner. She is the one that will support you like no other person can and will just as easily push your buttons.
That is OK. Just have patience and remember that this is not a sprint but a marathon. As I have always said, life is a journey, and not the destination. You want to take chances, do things together, experience things that take you outside of your comfort zone. So get on that roller coaster that you have always been afraid of. Your partner has your back.
Make Memories with each other. Things that make you laugh, despite the curve balls thrown at you at times.
Remember that the answer to the question, how do I look is, “you look great”. The answer to every meal she makes is, “it is delicious babe”. The answer to every argument whether you feel you are right or not, is “I’m sorry.”
To Jill.
Being the brother to 3 younger sisters and no brothers, Luisa and I thought that when we began having children, we would have girls. Up until we found out that Dan was a boy, we assumed it would be a girl and we would have no problem with that. We thank Dan for finally giving us the daughter we have been waiting for all along.
I heard you mention one time, after all of the unfortunate sadness we have had over these years that you “get it”. You get why our family is so close and appear to spend all of our time together, making a big deal of birthdays and anniversaries…etc. It is because when we are at our lowest point, we come together to support each other. Well Jill, it also that when we are at are highest point that we make it a big deal as well.
Luisa and I welcome you to the family and we are honored to have you as part of our family.
May God bless your marriage every day. May you both wake up every day excited about what the new day will bring and go to bed thankful for what you have been given.
Congratulations.
Now everybody please raise you glass.
A toast to Jill and Dan.
Salud!
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