Thursday, September 26, 2019

Chicken Soup...for the soul

I was reminded today by a cousin of a business trip I took once to Puerto Rico back in '89.  The cousin called to tell to me that she had booked her upcoming trip and that she was going to stay in Humacao at Palmas del Mar.

The rush of memories from that trip immediately started flowing and reminded me of all of the things I had forgotten.

During this trip, I was in Puerto Rico to inspect some computers that were being manufactured there at a plant and went down there with a business partner, Wayne.  Given that my family is from Puerto Rico, I was excited about the fact that I was IN Puerto Rico for a business trip but that I would also have the opportunity to visit my family while I was there.

The business trip was great and the weather and area was even better.  When Friday came, Wayne and I ventured from the east coast shortline of Humacao to the mountains of Jayuya.  While you can go around the island in about 4 hours, it took us about that long to get from Humacao to Jayuya, through the winding roads internal to the island.  The scene started off wonderful as the sun set over the water with our desire to get to the mountains before it got too late.  As we got closer to Jayuya, the roads were dimly lit, only by our headlights until the point that it got so dark that we could not see anything.

We lowered our windows to be able to hear oncoming cars and as we started to get into the higher elevation, it got darker and we had to slow down as the roads are technically one lane each way but only if both cars are small Toyota Corollas.

As we get into downtown Jayuya, my memory of my prior trips there kicked in and the car went into autopilot.  I would take this back road and that back road until we got to the bottom of the last climb to where my family lives.

My family lives in an area of Jayuya called Caricaboa but also known as Puerto Plata.  It is near the top of the mountains and in order to get up to where they live, you have to put the car in 1st gear and floor it, while climbing up a concrete road that is slippery given the small streams of water coming from the side of the mountain. 

As we made our way to my uncle's house, you have to take a sharp curve at the bottom of the hill and gun it so that you can make it up the driveway. The car slips and slides up the driveway as it struggles to grab onto the road but the momentum is able to get you to your destination.

I pulled straight into the car port my uncle had built and shut off the car.  Wayne stopped holding his breath and took a sigh of relief.


I got out of my car and saw my uncle standing there on the porch.  I yelled "Bendición" and we both started to laugh.  He said out loud that he knew of only one person who could park like that, and that it had to be me.  He was not aware I was coming by but did hear I was in Puerto Rico.

You see, this was before phones were prevalent in the island, especially in that mountain.  It was 1989 and the only way to communicate with that area was through letters or if an emergency, calling the police department downtown to have them send a message up.

Wayne and I got out and walked inside.  It was at that time that I asked my uncle if it was a problem for us to stay there.  Including Wayne.  Of course the answer was an emphatic no.  He would be welcome anytime.

It was about 10:30PM that night and Wayne would say something and I would translate it to Spanish.  My uncle and aunt would answer and I would translate it back.  We went back and forth for about 45 minutes when my aunt asked me if we wanted some chicken soup.  I asked Wayne if he was hungry and he said yes, that would be great.  My aunt disappeared while Wayne and my uncle continued to talk, with me translating all along.  About an hour later, my aunt shows up with a bowl of homemade chicken soup.  Wayne, had been wondering all along what had happened to the soup.  He thought she must had forgotten it. After all, he thought he was going to get chicken soup from a can when what we were served instead was an amazing homemade chicken soup.  I am sure that chicken was running around in the yard, probably a few days earlier.

We spent the next few days in Jayuya, looking around the beautiful landscape, touring the town until I brought Wayne back to the airport for his trek home.  It was 2+ hours to the airport and the same back.  I stayed in town a few more days to visit with my family. 

I was able to record my trip with the VHS video camera I brought with me on the trip.  One of the best memories I recorded was that of my grandfather Papa Moncho.





I am fortunate to have been given the chance to take that trip as that would be the last time I would see my Grandfather alive.

My visit was cut short due to an emergency.  Just by chance, I woke up one day and decided to go downtown to the nearest phone booth and call home to speak with Luisa.  To check in.

Luisa was pregnant with our first child and she had been trying to reach me for several days.  She had even tried calling the police department and nobody had followed up with me to try to get a hold of me. A recent blood test had come back high and abnormal and they convinced her that she should get an amniocentesis.  The doctors had suspected that the baby had a hole in its spine. 

I cut my trip short and rushed home.  I would later find out that we were going to have our first son. That he would be OK and that everything would be fine.

My grandfather passed away 4 months after that trip of cancer and exactly 30 days before Dan was born.

It has been almost 30 years since all of this occurred.  Within a week of me writing this, Dan will be getting married.

Life goes on.  The ups and downs of life are like a roller coaster ride.  The memories you make, while sometimes sad, are actually healing because when they come rushing back they are like Chicken Soup for the Soul.

Wednesday, September 11, 2019

When you look for signs...and they appear

For over a year, after my dad passed away, I was in a dark place.  I was angry, in shock, upset, in a state of total disbelief.  I had just lost my brother-in-law, and then unexpectedly two weeks later lost my dad.  For the next year, while we took care of mom, as we went through the grieving and healing process, we would see cardinals outside the window.  A bright ruby red cardinal with amazing colors, flying around.  It would randomly appear, at times when we were needing a touch or when it was unexpected.  My sisters and Luisa would see it also.

My parents lived in Cardinal Woods Way and so the Cardinal was absolutely the appropriate sign that made us stop and say, "Hi Dad".



On the Saturdays I took care of mom, a song would appear in the Pandora station that would make me think of Dad.  It would be either the ringtone I had for him or one of his favorite songs from Rafaelito Muñoz.  I would quickly point it out to mom, with tears running down my face.  Knowing full well that she was not able to understand what I was saying or why I was crying.  It stopped me in my tracks and took my breath away.

In a previous post, I mentioned about how I grew some beans and was wondering when they would be ready, only to have Facebook pop up a picture of my dad's beans 2 years earlier.  Exactly the same day I asked if they would be ready.

For over 15 months, my sisters would tell me that Dad visited their dreams and spoke to them.  That he was OK and to make sure that we took care of mom.  All the while, I was left wondering why he wasn't visiting me in my dreams.

When mom passed away, I did not have the same pain that I had with Dad, of things left unsaid or undone.  Regrets from not being able to have done more to delay that day from arriving or not having reacted sooner to the calls I received.

With mom, while it was definitely very sad to see her go, I felt closure.  I felt that we had done everything we could for her while she was here with us and it was no longer warranted to see her suffer like she was.

Today it is 4 months since mom took her last breath.  This past weekend, roughly a week after celebrating my 1st birthday without her, she appeared in my dream.  It was a beautiful dream.   She was walking and laughing.  The smile on her face was priceless and told me everything.  That she was OK.  That she was at peace and back to being her joyful self.  In the dream, I tucked her into bed, like the thousands of times I had done so and she smiled and gave me a good night kiss.

I woke up shortly thereafter with a smile on my own face.  As soon as I opened up my Facebook, I was reminded about my profile pic I had used for so many years.  One that I had not used since before she was with us.  The one where she, in her lost state of mind, walked right up to me and put her arm around me.  I grabbed it and held it tightly, making sure she knew that I was there for her.  That I would do everything I could to take care of her.

I am sure she knows.  She just wanted to give me a sign, so that I knew as well, that she was OK.


Eventually, dad also visited me in my dreams.   The cardinal has also re-appeared several times.  Though this time, he brings a companion.  A female that follows him from tree to tree.  They have come back many times and I just smile.  Thanking them for the signs they are giving me.

I miss you both.




 

I remember

My family makes fun of me because I struggle to remember key scenes and phrases from movies or lyrics from songs that they easily recall.  I...