25 and Counting

Luisa, 

On May 26th, I was highly encouraged to ask you to the upcoming high school sports banquet by your friend Lucy.  When I asked you, you acted surprised but said yes.  Funny.  Three days later, we went to the banquet and had a very nice time, getting to know each other.  That was 1980.  Five years later, on June 8th, we got married in front of all of our friends and family.  We did not know what was coming, but had spent the last 5 years dating and really getting to understand each other enough that we felt we can definitely do this.  Thinking a like and sharing the same idea of what our future life would be like together and how we wanted to live it.  

Fast forward 25 years, and we have had a lifetime of amazing memories.  We’ve been through some incredible high times and extremely stressful, difficult times.  Wondering how we would make it, for a number of reasons.  At times we have stressed each other out where we both thought we couldn’t do this anymore.  But then we would think of the great times where we would have it no other way. 

Looking back at some of those memories, I think about the beginning where we were preparing to get married, only to get a call from the travel agent, three days before our wedding that United had cancelled our honeymoon to Hawaii due to their strike.  The strike that prompted us to call a month a head of time to confirm that we were still going on, and told by the United employee “oh honey, by that time, the strike will be over with”.  I think about the fantastic trip we had in St. Thomas instead, and how we both got so much sun burn that we had to sleep on separate beds because we were in so much pain.  Good thing it was only for 1 night ;-).  Remember the lady who knocked on our door at 3AM, who was completely drunk?

When we moved into our apartment and you made your first meal.  And the laughter we had cause it did not meet your expectations but I would have eaten it all up without thinking twice.

I think about my first business trip almost a year later and coming back to see you with a brace on your arm.  Wondering if this was how it was going to be.  Me go away and you fall apart!

I think about my trip to PR 4 years later, that also included a side visit to my family.  Calling you in the morning, after several days of being away, only to find out that you were having complications with your pregnancy and had been trying to reach me unsuccessfully.  Rushing home, to be with you.  Five months later to not only see the birth of our first son, but also having moved into our first house at the same time.  While we were excited about these two major milestones, the birth of our first child and our first house, we were also concerned because we were flat broke and could not even afford a Christmas tree!

I think about how we moved multiple times, and then finally ended up in SC.  With you in tears cause you were away from your family for the first time.  Then deciding jointly to have another baby, to be blessed with the ball of fire that came into our lives full of hair, energy and life.  How happy we were once our family was complete!

I think about all of the times that we both have received very bad news due to horrible situations with our families, including the times where we lost those who meant everything to us. And how we were there to support each other in those very painful times.

At the same time, I think about the positive things that we have experienced and how those have made us forget all of our pains. 

The amazing vacations we have taken to Hawaii (we finally went there), France/Spain, Puerto Rico, and all of the trips to Disneyland, Universal and of course, back and forth to NJ and Florida to visit family.  
Holding each other as we watched our kids sleeping, opening their Christmas presents, watching their performances, and seeing them grow up. 

The support you have given me in my career.  The confidence you gave me to continue to pursue my dreams, regardless of the obstacles that were presented by those issues outside of my control. 
How much we laugh together, in the morning, middle of the day, and at night.  Every time.  I swear you will outlive me because of this.

The way we just sit together and talk, hold hands in the car, the way I walk up to you, from behind you and smell your hair and kiss your neck when I come home from work.   

The way you treat my parents, especially now, that we are facing the most crucial test with their health and really do not know what comes ahead of us.

The ultimate highlight of course, being the pride we share at looking at our two sons, whom we have shielded from the challenges we have faced so that they can really take advantage of the opportunity we have provided to them, to give them the chances we have not had, the future they deserve, and the satisfaction that we did our job.  We have followed through on our promise to each other and them, and be proud of every one of their achievements, but also know that we were there to pick them up when needed.  That is indeed our greatest accomplishment and much to be proud of.  But in all honesty, we have done the same with every other child (nephew or niece) that is part of our extended family and have sincerely tried to do what is right.  We definitely set the example of what others should do and how they should behave and act.

After twenty five years, I cannot imagine going on this incredible journey without you and thank God that I did.  I cannot even begin to imagine how amazing the next twenty five are going to be, given how great the last twenty five have been.  Can it really get any better?

I am reminded of the words that we said to each other on the altar, on June 8, 1985 at 3PM and realize that we have definitely lived up to those words.  That they actually defined what we would do and how we would be with each other.

“I, Ralph, take you Luisa to be my wife.  I promise to be true to you, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health.  I will Love you and Honor you, all of the days of my life.”

I will eternally love you and am grateful for the love we share.

Happy 25th Anniversary My Love! 

Ralph