US Airways Magazine / City Profiles / Greenville

US Airways Magazine / City Profiles / Greenville

Powdersville Post - Personality Profile

A local paper published this article about me.  Here it is:

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Ralph Heredia and his company Zipit Wireless have made headlines on multiple occasions, and he has several patents for designing products.

One of Zipit Wireless’ best-known products is the Z2, which allows teens and pre-teens to instant message with their friends off the computer.

Heredia, a co-founder of Zipit Wireless, has appeared in several business publications and has even written an Encyclopedia article.

But his business ventures haven’t kept him from being involved in several aspects of the community. The Heredia family hosts the Latino team during the Big League World Series, and Ralph spends a lot of time working with Boy Scout Troop 210.

“Our family hosts the Big League World Series Latin team,” he said. “We’ve been doing it for five years. … We use that as the week for our family to do something together like that. Last year, we hosted the Dominican team. What we do is translate for them, go to the doctor’s with them, take them places, go to every game that they’re at.”

Heredia’s family is originally from Puerto Rico. His family moved to New Jersey from Puerto Rico when his mother was five months pregnant with him.

“My parents like to say: I was made in Puerto Rico and born in America,” he says with a laugh.

Heredia says that working with the Big League World Series and with the Boy Scouts is “a lot of work, but a lot of fun.”

He’s been able to make plenty of friends and go on many adventures because of Boy Scout Troop 210, he says.

Heredia says he especially enjoys “the ability and to connect with the kids as well as spend time with your own kids.”

“When my son crossed over, it was a great opportunity for me to go on these amazing hikes with them, and white water rafting — things that I probably would never have done without Scouting,” he said.

Heredia’s son Dan is an Eagle Scout, and his son Nick could be about a year away from obtaining his Eagle Scout, he said.

Full name: Rafael “Ralph” Heredia — has been going by “Ralph” since he was 11.

Age: 45

Occupation and employer: Vice President Business Development/Co-founder Zipit Wireless, Inc.

Years on the job: 2.5 years officially/ since 2003 unofficially.

Favorite food: Roasted Pig, Spanish Rice with Pigeon Peas (Arroz con Gandules - Puerto Rico’s National Dish of course)

Favorite pastime: Doing anything with my family, listening to music, working with Scouts, watching movies, faithfully going to church, spending time with friends, and anything entertaining and social.

Family: Wife: Luisa, – have been married to my high school sweetheart for 25 years; two sons: Dan, 20, second year at College of Charleston; and Nick, 14, a freshman at Wren.

Pets: None — just the birds I feed outside.

Awards or special achievements: Several Patents, published an article in an Encyclopedia.

Residence: Powdersville

Born in: New Jersey

Interesting facts:

-Transferred to South Carolina in 1993 by AT&T. Since then my entire family — parents and three sisters and their families — have moved down.

-Never shaved off my mustache (took a long time to get it and scared it won’t grow back).

How would you describe yourself?
 
I am what I am. Nothing to hide, always willing to help everybody, and passionate about everything.

Passion to pursue your dreams...

For me, posting things online is pretty difficult, when you consider that in fact, I am actually a very private person.  I am public when it comes to my work but private when it comes to my family, religion, friends and my past.  Basically anything that is not work related.  Not because I have anything to hide, but it is just the way I was raised.  However, in my desire to make sure I leave my mark, primarily for my sons, and my son's children, I am trying to open up my personal life even more.

A few of years ago (June 2007) I was asked to give a commencement speech at ITT in Greenville.  Here is a slightly modified version the speech I gave.

Enjoy,
Ralph
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Good Afternoon.


Dr. Brightharp, faculty, friends, family and most of all graduates. For me it is an honor and an absolute pleasure to be in front of you today, to share with you some personal thoughts of wisdom. To be honest, when Dr. Brightharp asked me if I wanted to speak to you during your commencement, I was, well, in shock. I didn’t know what to say. Nobody had ever asked me to give a speech at a graduation ceremony.

You see, you are accomplishing something that I never did. You are graduating with either an associates or bachelors degree. I immediately began to wonder, if I was qualified to be in front of you today. After pondering this for a few days, I realized that we share something in common. All of you and I have the drive to do something with ourselves in life. We are both motivated and have a desire to succeed. You found it within your self to get you to this point. Some of you did this while working full time either day or night. I tried to do the same thing until after about 4 years of working on my associates at UCLA. No not the famous one, the other one. The University Closest to the Lincroft Area, otherwise known as Brookdale Community College in Lincroft, NJ. As you can imagine, I burnt myself out. I started traveling overseas on business trips and I also got married. As a matter of fact, today is our 22nd year anniversary.

I started attending college in September of 1982 after graduating high school in June of that same year. But by the time I started college, I had already been working at Bell Labs for about a year. I found myself frustrated because I had to work in order to go to school. I would leave to go to work at 7:00am, and would get home about 6:00pm. I swallowed my dinner without chewing, picked up my books and drove off to school about 40 minutes away. I would stay at school until about 10:00pm and then I would come home. I repeated this pattern 3 days a week, trying to take 2 courses per semester as I worked on my Computer Science Degree. I figured that at this pace, I was on a path to graduate, about 10 years later. I also came to the conclusion that I was learning more at work than I was at school because technology was not as advanced in school as it was at work for the field that I was interested in. The PC revolution had just begun in the early 80’s and I had more power on my office desk than the minicomputer that our school had. Things have changed quite a bit since those days. I have seen some of your classes and have actually had the pleasure of meeting some of you and your professors. You are definitely way ahead of where I was when I started school. So you see, I do believe that I can relate to most of you. I understand how hard it is to set some goals and reach them.

One of the first major goals that I had set for myself when I was young was that I wanted to buy a house when I grew up. I had lived in an apartment all my life. I had 3 sisters and along with my parents, lived in a 3 bedroom apartment. Right before I got married, I moved into my own apartment and several months later, my wife joined me. We both worked full time and went to school nights. In 1988, we decided that we needed to move in with her grandparents in order to save enough to buy a house. We wanted to start a family but I was determined to make sure that my child would live in a house that I could call home, and not an apartment. Not that there is anything wrong with an apartment, but it was something that I felt passionate about. I wanted my children to have a back yard. To have a neighborhood where they could go out and play and be safe.

In November 16th, 1989, my wife and I closed on our first house. I was the first person in my family to purchase a house. Two weeks later, our oldest son was born. He is seventeen today and just finished his junior year in high school. He is already looking into his own college plans.

I continued working for Bell Labs and AT&T for almost 14 years. During that time, my job was declared surplus 3 times. In other words, it means that you are not needed and within a certain period of time, you will be laid off. I refused to let that happen to me. I looked around within Bell Labs and continued to find out where the work was moving to so that I could follow it. In those days, departments were shut down, and responsibilities where transferred from one department to another. I moved with the work, pursuing my career in computers. During one of those surplus times, I felt like I was the most depressed I have ever been. I don’t think I have ever felt like that again. I was fascinated with the personal computer business and I was not going to let someone take that away from me. I had made my bed and was being told that I could not sleep in it. I was extremely frustrated because there were people making decisions for me that did not see what I saw or understand how personal computers would revolutionize everything. I absorbed everything I could about computers during those years. I read a ton of books and spent hours a day continuing to try to learn as much as I could. I constantly asked questions about every topic to every body that I worked with. I was determined to be a sponge. To pursue my career.

I worked my way up from a clerk position in 81 until I reached the level of engineer, in 93. It took me twelve years to reach another goal. To be an engineer, at what was once, one of the most premier research institutions in the world. Had I finished my college degree, I would have definitely cut that time in about half if not more. What kept me going was the drive to learn and do my best. I knew that I had it in me to achieve that goal no matter how impossible it seamed or how many times I was told that I couldn’t get there because engineers at Bell Labs had to have a degree. It was not a common thing in those days. At one point, over half of the people I worked with in one of my 30 person department had PhD’s.

During those years, I received a promotion just about every year. At one point, I was given the promotion but told that I would not be getting a raise because my salary was higher than the average for my new level. Thinking back on this several years later, I felt like I was not given my due. But to be honest, I was glad to be getting paid for something that I absolutely loved to do. However, I felt like I could always do better than the person above me or that I had a better way of running the company.

After 14 years, and having moved my family to South Carolina, I finally caved and decided to leave AT&T when they closed up shop. In hindsight, it was the best thing that has happened to me. I finally had the reason and courage to go out on my own and not be dependent on a major corporation making decisions for me.

Now fast forward to today, where since leaving AT&T, I, along with my partners, have started, 2 new high technology companies in Greenville, sold one, and also established 2 satellite divisions of out of state companies all in the past 12 years.

My most recent, and definitely the most exiting, endeavor has been to start a company call Zipit. Several years ago I invented a wireless messaging device for teens that has amazing potential. I came up with the idea because I was witness to my nieces fighting over the computer so they can IM with their friends. I actually invented it in April 2003. We had our first prototype in 8 weeks. My partners and I spent most of 2004 being told that it was impossible to make it for $99 and that China was going to eat our lunch. In October 2004, we got Target to start selling it online for $99. And by the way, the product is manufactured in China. We also lost a 10,000 unit opportunity with BestBuy that Christmas season because we did not have the dollars to manufacture it ahead of time.

We quickly realized that we needed to start marketing this product through advertisements and commercials and to ramp up our manufacturing plans. So we set out to raise money in early 2005. We spoke with dozens of investors in the hopes that we could get funding to pursue our dreams. You cannot imagine all of the excuses that came pouring in. It is impossible to start a consumer electronics company in South Carolina. What do we know about Consumer Electronics? After all, we are just a bunch of engineers. We were told that just because we got the product in Target online, that we had absolutely no experience in getting a product in retail. In 2005, we introduced the product in almost 4,000 RadioShack stores, 200 CompUSA stores. We also introduced the product in Mexico and Canada. However, we lost another opportunity for 100,000 units with BestBuy. Once again, because we could not afford to build up enough units satisfy the demand we had generated. In the meantime, we had the product in a movie, the NY Times, Chicago Tribune, even in Time Magazines’ most Amazing Inventions of 2005 issue. I do not want to steal the thunder but keep your eyes and ears open for some major announcements that are coming in the next couple of weeks.  (We actually introduced Z2 two months later and have since then continued to introduce other products as well.)

My work, I do for me. It gives me the satisfaction that I am doing something that I never thought possible and is definitely a dream come true. Over the years, I have learned to trust my instincts, to rely on my faith and believe that anything is possible, but it may not be easy. That you should never give up nor be complacent.

During my “free time” I dedicate my energies to my faith, sharing my lessons with Scouts and other youth groups, and obviously spending as much time as I can with my very supportive family. Just like my work, I commit 100% of my personal time in making sure that I give back and that I can have a positive impact on others. I have learned a lot through the years and know that I have lots to share. I encourage all of you to do the same because the satisfaction you get in teaching is even better than in learning.

I have many, other highlights to tell on my personal experiences.

But my purpose in mentioning these things today is not brag about myself, but to make sure that you understand that if you have faith, if you believe in yourself, have the support you need from family and friends, and finally have the desire to do succeed, you can pursue, and achieve, your dreams. Never give up.

I can think of one word that exemplifies my attitude towards things. Passion.

I believe in myself, and have the passion to excel in everything I do. Anything is possible.

One more thing I wanted to mention. My parents followed me down to SC, and bought their first home just last year after they retired. My dad just turned 72.

You have the opportunity to do what you want. All you have to do is believe yourself and have passion in everything you do.

Congratulations and best of luck.

Comfort on Stage

It's amazing.  I remember that when I was growing up, I was very scared to be at the head of the class for oral book reports.  This stage fright also affected me when I started my career.  I recall, I was about 26 and I had to present my accomplishments and my objectives to my department at work.  I was sweating bullets up there.  We used an overhead projector to do our presentations and I managed to place my viewgraph (that's what we called them back then) on the overhead projector and it appeared upside down.  My supervisor at the time, Rich, stood up and said "Ralph.  There is not need to ge nervous.  Let me show you a trick.  I look at the overhead and if I can read it, that is how I place it on the projector. Everybody can read it then.

Fast forward many years and I spend a lot of time giving presentations to major corporations, technology consortiums and other events.  Just recently I gave one, and there were about 150 people in the room.  They came to hear about some cool stuff that we were working on.

Last week, I sat down to see my 14 year old, Nick, stand in front of the stage for a school pageant he was in called, Mr. Wren.  He was the first person up and when he came through the closed curtains, he sat down with his guitar.  He was going to do his talent portion of the competition, which is to sing a song from the Beatles.  Before he began, he asked if the people in the back can hear a few notes from his guitar. Then he said a few words about the song, the fact that it was from the Beatles, his favorite band.  Then he said "let's begin.". He then played an amazing song.  At one point, he pauses and the audience thought the song was over and they are applauding his performance.  He just looks up, raises his index finger indicating that it was not over yet, to give him a second.  He closes his eyes, bends his head down, opens his eyes, looks at his guitar and continues to finish up the song. 

He then got up and thanked the audience, who was applauding his performance, again, turned around, and walked away.  Nick is going to be a performer. It is something he has always wanted to do.  But the comfort he showed there, was so unlike the lack of comfort I had, when I was young.  Here he was performing like a pro. 

Years earlier, our oldest son, Dan, did practically the same thing for the same competition.  He got up there and sang a Michael Buble' song.  He said he wanted to bring some class to the event.  He told me that he was ready to throw up before hand but felt great afterwords.

Nick, won his category, Mr. Freshman that evening.  I believe it was not just because of his performance, which was spectacular.  But it was primarily because of the comfort he demonstrated on stage.

Needless to say, it was one of my proudest moments as a father.  It also brought back memories about how scared I was just being in front of my class to for an oral book report.

I'm proud of both of my boys for what they can do and looking forward to see what they do next.

Memories

Now that I have been dealing with someone in my family with dementia, I continue to wonder what it would be like if I lost my ability to remember.  While dementia realistically affects short term memory, it is the long term memory that I truely treasure.  At the same time, I wonder, what it would be like if I was able to really understand what went through my grandparent's minds, or how they thought, when they were younger.  What happened to them while they were growing up?  That made me want to leave a legacy for my boys, and my future grandchildren.

My goal is to record my memories, primarily so that I can leave that legacy I spoke about. But also to give me a chance to remember moments in my life that have made me who I am.  Who knows, it is probably nothing more than a mid-life crisis that I am going through. :)  Hahah.

My memories will be random, but it is designed to record things that I want to share.

So let's begin.

I want to start by stating that you cannot really know where you are going unless you have a good understanding of where you came from.  So many times I come across people that feel that they are entitled to get things.  Looking for the handout or for the silver platter.  I don't recall doing that.  I recall wondering "why me" all of the time while I was growing up.  I recall why things were hard for me. 

When I was in about the 7th grade, I remember being teased because I did not have designer jeans.  The funny thing is that designer jeans at that time, were Levis and Wrangler.  It was so much pressure at that time.  Pressure that I am sure is similar to what teens go through today for other reasons, especially a lot more than what was probably a $20 pair of jeans at the time.

I finally got my pair of jeans.  A pair of Wranglers.  I remember the day.  But most of all, I remember the fact that I only had one, and had 5 days of school.  So being creative, I removed the label from the pair of jeans, and put it on another pair of no-name jeans.  I felt great that now I really had two pairs of "Wranglers" though I knew the truth.  Well, the next day I spent the day pretty much trying to convince the other kids in class that it was indeed a real pair of Wrangler jeans.  Funny thing is that I was much more convinced about it than they were.  Looking back, it was one of those things that meant the world to me but really did not matter in the grand scheme of things. 

When my oldest son was about 10, I remember having a discussion with him about designer clothes.  Specifically, he needed a new pair of sneakers.  I asked him if he wanted us to buy him a designer pair of sneakers.  His response, at the time, was that he did not need it.  That we should not waste our money. It was just a pair of sneakers and he didn't care what the brand was.  When I mentioned to him that I was concerned about what the other kids would say, he responded with he did not care.

Amazing, but somehow, we had managed to build confidence in him early on to face the same problems that I faced when I was young.  The confidence that I lacked when I was growing up he had.

Life as a Chinese Tourist

(Note: This documents a business trip I took to China in 2008. I thought it was "interesting" enough for me to post here. Enjoy.)

OK. I could also call this my China Vacation as Mike called it but think "Chevy Chase". Now this is rather long, but I recommend that you read it so that you can experience what I am experiencing over here while you are back, safe and sound, at your desk reading this. After all. I am on my second week in Asia, having spent the last week in Taiwan and weekend in Hong Kong. I deserve a little respect.

I've been in China for 2 days now. I had a very long day with a large manufacturer picking me up in HK on Monday.

I was all set and drove 1.5 hours, through HK customs and then China customs as I made my way to Shenzhen China.

It was great because this manufacturer sent a minivan to pick me up in HK. Turns out that Phil the VP that I was meeting with actually lives in HK.

After spending all day with Phil and the rest of the team, throughout the day they kept on asking me if I was interested in purchasing something. Maybe some DVDs or something. Well, after asking me several times if I wanted some, I agreed. OK. Lets go.

So I get whisked away to a small town outside of the factory where we snake our way through the streets, honking horns, almost running over people...

Amazing. They actually drive like this. There is no rhyme or reason. They ignore traffic lights, stop signs... whatever. It is really the wild wild west of the automotive age. They have perfected the use of the horn honking since they use it at every intersection or every time they are passing a car, bike, person walking, dog...whatever. They honk it at times just to make sure that it still works.

So we pull up to this shop and basically park the car. As I'm getting out, a car is honking his horn cause I'm in the way. No problem. I decide to kiss the van with my body so that I can let him by. That's when the fun begins. I go into this shop and we go through a back door behind the cash register. Oh. The secret room. So I go upstairs with Phil and Candace and here is another room that has the real stash of DVDs. Everything from Ironman that is now coming out to every WII game, PSP game...etc.

I then pick up my collection and we head downstairs to purchase the items at the cash register. Then it hits me. Why hide the stuff upstairs if you have to bring it back down to purchase it at the cash register right in open view?

So after buying $Y200 Yuan's worth ($26) I walk out of the DVD store into the car. On the way back, I ask to stop and get $Y100 (13 bucks) of a phone card so I can fill up my China Sim card. Good thing since I needed it for the calls I was going to get (more on that later). I get dropped off at the hotel and once I get checked in, my hosts leave promising that the driver will come back the next day at 8:30am to pick me up. No problem.

I check into my "non-smoking", smoking room and quickly turn on the air conditioner to air out the room and cool it down. It's hot. Even though I set the air conditioner on 70 degrees, it never really cooled down all night long.

I wake up the next morning to start my adventure; Actually my adventure started earlier than that. Much earlier at around 1:45AM with a phone call on my spanking newly filled up phone SIM card but that's another story.

So I wake up and get ready for breakfast. I go down to have breakfast. Searching for the eggs and such. No such luck. I find French toast (filled with peanut butter), cooked tomatoes (good), lettuce (salad for breakfast?), noodles (too early for that), and a bunch of other things that I would rather not describe.

I put spread on my French bread, thinking it was butter, and it turned out to be banana cream filling of some sort. Yuk. I had enough thank you very much.

So I go upstairs, get my stuff and check out. Waiting for my pickup. The driver shows up and takes me to the factory where we are dodging people like a pinball in a pinball machine.

I get to the door and nobody is there. I get my shoes (imagine doctor slippers that you get when you are going into the operating room) and go up 5 flight of stairs.

Normally, someone is supposed to be there at the guard's desk to walk me up the stairs but nobody is there. So I take my blue "ruby" slippers, put them on,and off I go up the stairs. I arrive to the "locked" door and pull out my trusty cell to call when all of a sudden, here comes Candace.

She opens the door and says that she is glad to see me.

So I spent the day with them and am told that I am going to the airport at 4PM for my 7PM flight. The driver is the same driver that has been schlepping me around for the past couple of days. Nice guy. Does not speak a word of English :-) So I notice that he decides to put on his seat belt as we are leaving the factory and I figure, time for more pinball. I put mine on as well.

The airport is 45 min away and after some more dodging, we get on the interstate (with tolls!) and get to the airport on time.

As I am getting dropped off, I decide to give the driver $Y100 smackers ($13 bucks) for all of his efforts over the past 2 days. He refuses and we play a game of take it/leave it/take it/leave it until I finally convince him to take my money. I say thank you and he watches me go into the airport. Cool. Plenty of time. Or so I thought.

I make my way to the counter and as I'm reading my Expedia paperwork to find my flight, I catch the note that says, confirm your flight 24 hours in advance. Oh crap. I go to the display board to find my flight. Since I'm a few hours early, I figure it is not on there. So I wait about 10 minutes and then the time shows up. No flight. What? Panic sets in. Ok. so I can do this, I walk over to the ticket agent and he says "can I see your passport?" and "sir, your flight has been cancelled but no problem. I put you on the earlier flight at 5:30. Good.

I look at my watch and it says 5:05pm. 25 minutes to get my ticket, check my bag, go through security, get to my gate... I don't even know where to begin. He says go to ticket booth 13 and you can get your new ticket and check your luggage. There is something both exhilarating and scary that happens. I like the challenge of trying to figure this out but at the same time I am really freaked out about missing my flight and not having an alternative way to get to where I'm going. It's 3 hours away!

OK. so I go to 13 and it is closed. 14 is open, and so is 12 but 13 is closed. 12 is for Biz Class, and 14 is economy and it has 7 people in front of me. I have an economy ticket so I just get into the economy line. I wait, wait, wait. and then my turn. No problem. I walk up to the ticket booth and look up. Guess what. I can't understand at all what it says. So I say, "yes, I was on a later flight but it was cancelled. the agent says I am now on this flight". "Can I see your passport?" Ok. NP.

So then I get my ticket and go through the guards and up to the screening station. Panic sets in again, when I have my bottle of water in my hand and there were 3 signs that I passed that said throw it out. So I give it to the security lady, give my notebook and walk through security. When I get to the other side of the x-ray, they decide that I look suspicious and want to check my bag. No problem. Nothing to hide. OH Crap. The DVDS! Oh yeah.

Wrong bag. They pull out every bit of junk in my briefcase (note to self - get rid of the crap in the briefcase) and run it again. No problem. I load up and off to my gate. Wait. What gate am I at?

I can't interpret this ticket. Can't find my gate. Can't see the flight number on the board. OK. Someone helps me and then I look. There it is.

Plain as day. It magically appeared. Gate 36. I go to gate 36 and when I get there it is 5:30 on the dot.

No problem. But no plane. OK I have time to call Emmy cause she has arranged for me to have a pickup at 10PM. But I get there at least an hour earlier. So I have to call her. I dial the phone number from my trusty cell phone (good thing I got that SIM card) and ring, ring, ring, disconnect. Try again. Same result.

OK, I have to get a hold of her somehow. So I try her office line. They don't have voice mail! After several rings, disconnect. Let me see. Maybe the airport has Wi-Fi? OK so I pull out my lap top and behold. Wi-Fi. And Free as well!

So I quickly burst out an email to Emmy and tell her about my flight change. About 10 minutes later, as I finished chomping on a granola bar and loading on a shuttle bus to my plane, the phone rings. It's Emmy. She got my message. No problem, she will contact the driver. Whew. Problem resolved.

So I board my plan and it is a mad rush off of the shuttle bus. Everybody merges like 50 people rushing to the plane and then it goes to a single file at the agent getting the ticket again. Imagine seeing 50 cars side by side merging onto a single lane highway. What, no passport? I'm offended. So I get on the plane and get settled in. We take off.

As we are climbing to 25K feet, I start to think, cool. I can see the great wall of China. I start thinking Mulan and stuff and then it hits me. What if they play pinball up here as well? Oh crap. I'm gonna die. After a while, I relax. No problem. The captain is actually really good.

Note: For those of you that have never been to China, it is smoggy, due to all of the cars and population. Do you know what it looks like at 25K feet?

THE SAME THING. I can't see a thing. So much for my great wall experience.

So, here I am on the plane, eating what I'm being told is "beef" and heading to Tianjin to get picked up by another driver that doesn't speak a lick of English so I can get dropped off at my hotel. It's a holiday inn this time and I am sure that they have a no smoking room. Yeah right. Just wondering what my adventure will look like next.

That concludes my first 36 hours of China. Stay tuned.

(Note: For what it is worth, I had a guilty conscious about the DVD's I bought so I ended up trashing them in the hotel basket before I checked out. It was definitely not worth the hassle nor the risk of getting stopped at Customs for it. But it was definitely an interesting experience.)

But I’ll be dead!

Today, I decided to go over my parent’s house with my son Nick to help them put up their Christmas tree.  So I walk into the house and immediately say, “OK, I’m here to put up the Christmas tree”.  To which my dad immediately responds with a grunt.

Mom say’s “I wonder where it is?”.  Of course, I know it is in the garage and tell her so.  Dad repeats that as well.

I go to the garage with Nick and give him the Christmas tree that is stored in a box.  I then give mom a box with a Santa in it, then one with an angel and then one with Mrs. Claus.   On the way back into the house, mom asks where has she placed the tree ornaments.  She see’s a box, which I know is not it, since all it has in it is wrapping paper.  She confirms what I already know when she opens it up.  However next to the box, is a small plastic shopping bag wrapped up.  I think to myself, I am sure those ornaments are really in good condition, considering they have been in the garage all year, next to Dad’s tools, his car, and of course, the pathway to the house!

We walk into the living room and when I open the box, there is a black widow in it!  I immediately tell them to step away.  Mom runs into the kitchen and comes back with a broom.  I asked her why she did that and she says so that I can kill the spider.  Ok.

So I take the box out to the garage and empty the box.  I look and look and cannot find the spider.  I then take the tree, which is in two pieces and then start to lift it up and down and bang it on the garage floor to see if I can shake the spider out.  I drop it a couple of times and still can’t find the spider.  I continue this but really cannot see because the light in the garage is pretty dim.

Mom shows up with a flash light.  I ask dad if he has any bug spray and mom comes back with a spray bottle of Clorox house cleaner.  To which I exclaim “Clorox?  what do you want me to do, bleach the spider?”  Mom says, I can’t find the bug spray.  Dad of course, then interjects and says, “It’s right next to you.”  I pick it up, and start spraying the tree with bug spray.  I spray and spray and little by little, I expand the limbs of what really is a Charlie Brown Christmas tree. 

I can’t find the spider for the life of me.  So we bring the tree back in the house and continue setting it up.  Once I finish putting it together and expanding the limbs, not that you can really tell I did that part, mom unwraps the bag with ornaments so that she can put them on the tree.  I tell dad that the tree has a very nasty smell.  He comes back a few minutes later with a can of aerosol spray.  He starts to fumigate the tree and trust me, if the spider was not dead by now, I am sure that did the trick :-)  I have never smelled a Christmas tree that was covered in pineapple/coconut.

Mom and dad then begin to decorate the tree with the ornaments.  If you call them that.  I don’t think there was a complete set of anything.  Mom then finishes and ends up with 3 ornaments that are missing the hook to place them on the tree.  She says “uh oh, I don’t have any more hooks”. Dad says “throw them away.”  She responds, “why?  I’ll just use them for next year.”  Dad responds, “Your going to have the same problem next year!.”

It’s time for me to go home so I say to my mom, “if you get bit by the spider, let me know as soon as possible!”.  To which mom responds, “If I get bit, I’ll be dead!”.