Remembering Henry

Six years ago, in September 2017, my heart and the collective hearts of all Puerto Ricans were in disarray as Hurricane Maria attempted to wipe Puerto Rico off of the map.  The massive hurricane affected other islands as well but the devastation to Puerto Rico can be quantified in these facts:

On page 6 of the National Hurricane Center Tropical Cyclone Report issued by the National Hurricane Center in January this year 

Based on a study from George Washington University's Milken Institute School of Public Health (2018), the government of Puerto Rico has estimated there were 2975 fatalities on that island due to Maria.  This total includes both direct and indirect deaths* since it was nearly impossible to differentiate between the two types of fatalities for this event. 

Further in the report, it says that Hurricane Maria caused Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands:

• Around $90B in damages
• destroyed 80% of the power poles turning the island dark for $3.4M Americans living there

A recent ABC news article on the 6 year anniversary mentioned:

• 80% of the crop had been destroyed during the storm

Not to mention the severe trauma to the people living there that shake with the news of another storm coming and to those of us not living there that for hours that seemed like days and days seemed like weeks that we could not get ahold of our family to see if and how they had survived this storm since all communication with the island had been knocked out.

In the aftermath of the storm, there was a massive effort to donate to Puerto Rico from all communities, including here in the Upstate where I live.  It was a very large, multidimensional effort by leaders of the hispanic, faith and locally elected community that got a lot of attention.  It was a calling of sorts.

This calling got the attention of a DNA cousin of mine, Sara who lives a few hours away from where I live.  What is a DNA cousin?  It is a confirmed genetic relationship by someone who has taken a DNA test but unknown as to how the two people who match are related.  

I started my genealogical journey years ago and in future posts, I plan to talk more about this incredible journey I have been on and the amazing family I have met along the way, but this post is not about me or my journey but about Sara and specifically her husband Henry.

Sara contacted me saying that she was looking for a way to donate to Puerto Rico in her area and that she was excited to see that I had been involved in an effort up here.  She offered to drive up with a truckload of stuff to donate but that she need to coordinate it with Henry, who worked nights ~6-7 days a week.  He was going to go home,  rest for a few hours but that they would be at my house in the early afternoon.

She and Henry made the trip and dropped a pickup truck load as promised.  She then went back and shipped more to me to send to my 1st cousin and his children who lost their home in Utuado and everything in it.   Utuado was one of the worst areas hit with at least 30 mudslides and a main bridge connecting it to the surrounding areas washed up.

On November 4th, 2023, a little bit over 6 years since my first encounter with Sara and Henry, I made the opposite trip to pay my respects for Henry's passing.  

Henry passed away on October 13th at AU Hospital in Augusta GA.  I found out that evening after seeing a Facebook post from my cousin and could not sleep at all that night, just heartbroken about it. It brought back immediate memories about when I met Sara and Henry for the first time at my home and how I was without words at their kindness, generosity and going above and beyond to make the trip up here after working an all nighter and the follow up support.

During the service, I learned more about Henry from his friends and family about his extreme love for fishing and practical jokes.  I learned about his faith and walk towards God later in his life.   I met the rest of the family, including additional DNA cousins I am related to.   We spent a couple of hours talking about our Puerto Rican roots and trying to piece together how we are connected.     

Just like back in 2017, I felt the calling to go there.  It was the least I could do and to now share this story about the impact Henry and Sara had on me and my immediate family in Puerto Rico.

I am a profound believer in family, family values and things that unite us and not divide us.  Throughout my ancestry journey, the thing I have appreciated most is actually meeting up and discovering new family members like Sara who have a similar desire to learn more about our combined Puerto Rican roots but also to meet up with their respective family members like Henry, her mom, sister and their children.

This is how I remember Henry. Even though I only met him once it was a meeting that will be ingrained in my memory forever.

My hope is for Henry to Rest in Eternal Peace and for Sara, children and other family members to find comfort in those memories and words like mine. 

If you wish to donate to the family, please click here: GoFundMe.

My final comments are to my new found cousin Wade, Sara and Henry's son.  I too lost my dad without saying goodbye.  I know the pain and can only say that over time, the pain goes away and what you will have are just the great memories of you and your dad.  God Bless.

* Deaths occurring as a direct result of the forces of the tropical cyclone are referred to as “direct” deaths. These would include those persons who drowned in storm surge, rough seas, rip currents, and freshwater floods. Direct deaths also include casualties resulting from lightning and wind-related events (e.g., collapsing structures). Deaths occurring from such factors as heart attacks, house fires, electrocutions from downed power lines, vehicle accidents on wet roads, etc., are considered indirect” deaths. 

A Father's Day Message

There is nothing more gratifying than just watching my son Dan, be a father to his daughter Audriana.  To see the look in their eyes, the tenderness with how he holds her, the rough way he tickles her and the shear joy in her eyes when I drop her off at home and he opens the door.  

What we are witnessing in real time is the genuine beginning of Audri's path towards becoming Daddy's girl.  Not to be overlooked, is the awe Luisa and I have at Dan's role of being a dad.  He was always kind and tender with kids, including with his brother Nick, though he did manage to push Nick's buttons one time a bit too far and get a well deserved clock in the head with a plastic hammer in return.

What is also incredible is the feeling I have of being able to witness this, as it helps remind me of what I felt as I went through that same evolution of becoming a dad.  I always wanted to be a dad.  I wanted to be able to share with my children my views of family values.  Growing up with sisters, I thought all along I was going to end up with daughters, though seriously wanting boys.  

My desire all along was to pave a path that they would follow.  To inspire them to do what is possible, to be strong in their moral character and conviction but to be kind, gentile and genuine to every person they meet. 

The memories I have of playing with the boys, in the same way that Dan plays with Audri makes me pause from my normal activities to reflect on those early days.  Even Nick, who has always said he is destined to be a "dog dad", has commented on how he remembers the amount of fun he had with me when he was much younger.  

Audri is only 15 months old at this point and too early to schedule her soccer, softball, dance, girl scout, karate, swim activities so at this point it is imagining having fake cafecito, imaginary meals with plastic hot dogs and hamburgers, singing and dancing to the wheels on the bus and We Don't Talk about Bruno.

But what she is already beginning to realize is that her dad will be her best friend and her first true love. 

To me, my sons as well as my wife of course, are my best friends.  The ones that know more of my secrets than anyone else.  The ones that have seen my struggles and my successes and have been there from the beginning to celebrate those successes and to help me get up when I fell down and needed the support.  The ones that have given me the reason to push harder and achieve goals that I did not think was possible but also the ones to keep me in check to ensure that the path I paved, was one they wanted to follow.

To Audri, Dan will be the perfect example of a man to which every boyfriend will be compared and measured against.  A high standard indeed.  

I believe in leaving a legacy and of all of the things I have done in my life, being a father to my sons is the greatest accomplishment I am most satisfied with.  A goal achieved.

When talking with Dan, I see the same evolution that is only reinforced by his words indicating that he did not think he would love someone as much as he loves his little girl.

Dan, on this, your 2nd but in reality, the first where you have had the chance to enjoy a full year of being a father, I wish you only many more years of this feeling, memories to be created, goals to be set and life to be lived as a father.

Mom and I are very proud of the father you are to your daughter.  But I am especially grateful of the father I became the moment you came into my life and for everything you do to keep me in check and support my goals.  Along with your brother and mother, you are my support system and I could not imagine doing anything more important than being a dad.  I am sure you feel the same.   Happy Father's Day son.