Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad

Today, December 15th is my parents wedding anniversary.  They would have celebrated their 57th anniversary.  Mom was 20 years old when she got married to dad, who was 26 at the time.  Both, having lived difficult lives up until they were married, promised each other in their vows that they would be together from that point forward.

Coming from humble, truth be told, very poor beginnings and moving to a new land to pursue a better life, Mom and Dad did everything they could to live the life they could. To work hard and make sure they could provide for their family.  To be an example of husband and wife that would enable us to learn the true meaning of love.

Growing up, mom and dad never really made a big deal of their anniversary such as go out to dinner like most couples do, except for Dad's last minute "splurge" on Chinese food, but he would bring her flowers on his way back from work, which mom loved and appreciated.  Carnations were her favorite and he made sure the bouquet had some.  That was the extent of their celebration.  That said, there was no doubt in our minds that they loved and were committed to each other.

Both found their soul partner in each other.  Someone that would be there in good times and in bad.  They took satisfaction, that their marriage meant so much to us.  That we understood the simplicity of their marriage but the genuine strength and love they had for each other.  Their love was a testament of their faith in God and appreciation for the life they had and all of the blessings that they were given.  Primarily, their family.  Their 4 children and spouses, 11 grandchildren some of which having spouses of their own, and their 4 great grandchildren.  Their life was complete in their eyes, and in ours.

Growing up, Mom was the caregiver and Dad was the provider.  As Mom got progressively worse with her disease, their roles reversed.  Dad's only worry was to make sure that Mom was taken care of.  That she was comfortable, fed, bathed, properly taken care of, especially with how we would tuck her in her bed, but their faith never wandered.



Even when we knew that it was beyond the point that mom should be going to Church, dad continued to insist that we do so and mom was eager to go there until the job of getting her ready, the stress of the drive and her inability to walk or sit in the pews were too much for her.


Their love was visible for all to see, in how they looked at and were with each other.  There was no doubt in anybody's mind.

Dad predeceased mom by 13 months and for their last few years together, Mom did not know who he was, nor was she able to really appreciate the fact that it was their anniversary and that he was her soulmate.  But while they were both around, and able to, they fulfilled their commitment to love and to hold, in sickness and in health, til' death do they part.

This anniversary, their first since Mom joined Dad, we are saddened by the lack of their presence, but with tears flowing of joy that the two of them are back together again.

We love you.

Sacrifices

When we were growing up, Dad had a little brown box bank full of coins and bills.  The coins and bills were actually very old coins that included a half dime, a silver dollar, Buffalo nickels, indian head coins, $5 dollar bills with a silver certificate or red numbers and other "prized possessions". According to Quora, the 1963 $5 bill with red numbers is now worth about $25 with the silver one worth much more than that.

Every once in a while, we would either ask him to open it up or he would open it up when he wanted to look at them and admire his cool collection.  When he came across a new coin that would be added to his collection, he would ask for the box and one of us would run to his bedroom and grab the box from his top drawer where he kept it.

Even as he was adding the new coin to the box, he would take it as an opportunity to check out his precious savings. 

Years later, after dad retired and moved down, we came across the box in the house.  We also came to find out that back in late '79, dad had sold off his collection so he can pay for a trip for us to go to Puerto Rico.  We usually took a trip to PR every 5-7 years but as our family got bigger, it became more expensive for us to go there.  It was roughly 2 years after my youngest sister Annie was born and Dad felt it was time to go back, so everybody could see the "baby".  We went back during Christmas, and it was the only Christmas I recall us spending in Puerto Rico.

We were devastated but realized that Dad had made a sacrifice of his precious collection of coins to pay for that trip.  In the end, money was money but this was not the kind of money that comes around again unless you want to purchase it from a collector in the first place.  It must have weighed heavily in his mind to do so but the desire to go to PR to visit the family was enough for him to sell his collection.  He was not saving it for a rainy day nor was he doing so just to pay for a vacation.

As I have previously written, Dad passed away last year in early 2018 and mom earlier this year.  I have finally started to go through all of the massive collection of paperwork I brought over from their house so I can keep what I need, and shred the things I don't, such as old medical bills.

As I emptied one of the boxes and folders, a little coin purse fell out containing the last bit of his collection.   It brought me back to my youth and cracking open "the safe" with him and how he loved to look at those coins.  I did not know he kept this small bunch.

This Thanksgiving was the first one without both of my parents and all I kept thinking about were the sacrifices they had made for us.  Not just about taking us to Puerto Rico to visit family, but everything they did to make sure we understood and appreciated everything they did for us.  Leaving Puerto Rico when Mom was pregnant with me, to start a new life in a strange land, not knowing the culture or anybody.  Makes us appreciate what we have, but also truly understand the desire of others to want to live the American dream.  All while still remembering where we came from.