Growing up in the small town in NJ, I remember hearing the marching band coming down the streets for a parade, be it the annual Christmas parade or about a football game coming, or whatever. It was an event and everybody would run out of their homes to see it once they heard the drums echoing through the streets.
I remember my mom saying “Ralphy, the parade is coming” and we would fly down those stairs. I was probably in 2nd grade or 3rd grade. That lead to me wanting to play the drums. When I got into 4th grade, during orientation, my mom walked with me to the band room and I was there with her when I met the band director, Mr. Pampel. She told him that I wanted to join the band and play drums. He looked at me and chuckled cause I was about 3 feet tall at most. OK maybe a little bigger than that but not by much. I took home the forms and had to pay $20 so that I can get the drum pad, my sticks, the book and before you know it, I was a drummer. In the concert band 
I played for several years in concerts until I got my big break to join the marching band. My first parade was at Six Flags Great Adventure in Jackson, NJ. Though I didn’t play the drums. I played the cowbell and man was I nervous. I remember playing a standard continuous 4 beat quarter note rhythm. That’s when Pampel ran to me and said “put some soul into it, after all you are Spanish, right? Where’s your latin beat?”. So I started playing the cowbell like there was no tomorrow and I remember the girls in another band start dancing to my rhythm. That was amazing.
Around my 5th grade, the priest at our church asked who wanted to play guitar. I was an alter server and told him that I wanted to. He made arrangements to hire an instructor to teach us how to play guitar but it was so that we can play at the church. I agreed and when I was 13, I bought my first guitar. I played guitar for years at the church, practically until I got married. So music has been part of my life all along from when I was young. I almost went to music school until I got bit by the computer bug. I’ll tell that story another time.
I would always dream that I was in a rock band, and would spend hours trying to come up with names like “Frequency”, “Classic Soul”, “Latin Connection”… I would be the lead guitarist and would also jump on the drums every now and then.
My oldest son, Dan, practically followed my footsteps wanting to join the band at school and asking me what my opinion was for an instrument. I told him that I always loved the trumpet, but that I was a drummer at school and that was the coolest instrument for a band. He agreed and next you know he played the drums all throughout middle and high school and loved it. He was good at what he did but to this day we still argue as to who is better in the drums.
Now, my youngest son Nick, had no interest in the drums. We got him a pair when he was about 6 months old and he would use the mallets to hit his older brother when he wasn’t looking. However, we got him a guitar and that was it. He found his true passion. At 18 months old, he would strap on the guitar and you would swear he was doing an Elvis impersonation. Those hips would move like you can’t imagine and he thought he was on stage all of the time. Playing the electric guitar with no strings and big red, blue, green and yellow buttons making only noise and shaking his hips like he was being electrocuted.
When he was in middle school he started to play the violin as there were no guitar lessons in middle school. He did that for 2 years and then asked if we would pay for guitar lessons at a local music shop. We took him to and after listening to the music teachers and talking with some of the students, we offered to pay for his lessons but only under the condition that he play guitar at church. After all, that is what I did. He quickly agreed.
Unlike me, he really picked it up and for him it was almost like an infatuation. He would constantly watch YouTube videos (we did not have those back then) and study how the greatest rock and roll artists would play the instrument. He would analyze the way they played, pause the video, rewind it, and repeat it until he figured out how to replay what they did. He was really good at it. He did this for hours every day.
He had the same aspiration of joining a band, playing concerts and writing his own music like I did. Truth be told, he was better than I was almost immediately, due to his obsession and passion. His obsession is what I lacked, though the additional tools, training and ability to view what others did easily did give him an advantage I did not have.
Fast forward several years, and guess what. He did it. He was asked to play at a benefit concert and that is where he met up with another band. They asked him if he wanted to jam with him some time. He said yes and a few weeks later, the band changed their lead singer and asked him to join the band. They changed their name, and their style (from screamo Rock to Alternative), and they started writing music and playing at a local club. Just this past week, they released their first single through a streaming service and now it is available on iTunes, Amazon and Google Play.
Things are definitely much easier now but at the same time, his tenacity, desire to do this, and natural talent has brought him closer to doing what he wants to do for a career. As a parent, I am so proud of him but as someone that also had aspirations to do what he is doing, his accomplishments make me feel complete. They say you live your life through your kids but I personally what that means to me is that it is great to see them do what you were not able to, and man does that feel great. While I don’t regret changing my career at the last minute from music to computers it does give me an amazing amount of satisfaction to see him up there playing with his band and getting one step closer to “Living the Dream”. Congratulations Nick on the release of your first single. I am sure it won’t be the last.
Check out Diary of a Hero by Billy and the Cosbys.
https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/diary-of-a-hero/id838356405?i=838356493
